Archive for September, 2015

So tomorrow morning around 10am my replacement will be badged and on campus ready for training…

So tomorrow morning I have to begin showing this stranger how to do my job…

So tomorrow morning reality will truly truly settle in…

So tomorrow morning I am going to be doing this UN-MEDICATED…

So tomorrow morning I may puke…

Will someone be there to help pick up the pieces…I highly doubt it…my only saving grace is that I’m leaving work around 2:30 tomorrow to take our daughter to her ADHD Dr appt before her talk therapy appointment…and then after dinner tomorrow night I am hitting the gym to work-out the frustrations and anxiety of the day while “clanging and banging” on the irons (Thanks Rock for that cute phrase) in hopes of sweating away the anxiety…

On Friday I worked at home so I could go to a job fair at our local technical college – spoke with several recruiters and picked up 4-5 business cards and was told to go to this or that website to fill out an application…spent Saturday evening doing just that.  I think the one that might scare me the most was when I went to the State’s Website and filled out an application to be…hold on…I’m gonna tell…a Corrections Officer…THAT scares the ever living you know what out of me…the COPAT (or physical exam) doesn’t intimidate me as much as the fact that IF hired I’d be working in a prison…never having actually set food inside one – yeah that frightens me.  Otherwise, I found the job fair itself pretty useless..it was more about networking and putting faces with companies than anything else.  I had ZERO clue how to even initiate conversation let alone get information.  So we’ll see.

Other than that I am high anxiety right now…

Can I just ditch the laptop, badge and parking pass? And go right to my severance and stay home?

No! DAMN!

Being an Adult SUCKS!

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Good Morning Kids!

Another day in the trenches here…seriously getting to the point I want to just bail…

Why?

Simple – my replacement hasn’t officially started yet?!? Meaning she’s in office in Tampa BUT her background hasn’t cleared YET and she’s unable to come to site for her training…um WTF??! So I send my boss an email last Friday getting all the pertinent info together, find out her background is still pending and that they’ll need me to stay until 10/9! Um WTF?!?! I told them I’d need to think about it – told HR this morning I’m ok with staying until 10/9 but at that point my obligation to the company ends.  So now my replacement will be here next week for training and I am expected to plaster on a smile and pretend all is right with the world…which we all know is NOT the case!

Then the icing on the cake – boss lady asks me to request my replacement’s access to all of the systems I use…um talk about a SMACK in the face! Ugh…no class I swear! Sent the following the HR this morning:

Good Morning HR Manager –

Just checking in  – Boss Lady’s asked me to stay until 10/9, which I am ok with, not 100% ok, but ok.

Also, I understand the need to get my replacement up and running as soon as possible, but yesterday Kim was asking me to request her accesses to the XX Systems – frankly I feel like that’s a huge slap in the face.  I already am unsure about how I am handling things emotionally, but to do that is just one step too far.

I will say this, 10/9 is my absolute last day.  I don’t feel I owe anything to Company past that point.  I am also telling potential employers my 1st available day will be 10/11, and that’s been a bit of a stretch as is.

Thanks!

She responded that she’d look into it…AND she sent me the info on the career connection people I can talk to about a transition – looked at the website/registered/they are confirming eligibility but it just seems that looking for a job these days is more about how you can out-do your competition vs. who is the best eligible employee for the position…I am NOT one who uses LinkedIn and this place is PUSHING it seriously!  Seriously they want you to list accomplishments on your resume and anyone who is anyone knows Admin’s very RARELY have any serious accomplishments outside of streamlining systems and processes we can list.  So I have ZERO because at every turn my company has fought anything I wanted to suggest, thus NO accomplishments.

I am thinking this transition will be more getting myself out of the Corporate world and into something I want to do vs. need.  If that makes sense, I really am getting sick of sitting at a desk all damn day and reporting to some boss and company who could frankly care less about me a person and an employee…so I’ll be doing some serious thinking over the coming weeks to try and figure out how I can make money, support my clan, and still do what I want.

Can we tell I am feeling really down on myself?!?!

Only uplift in my life right now is that my workouts are rocking! I’ve been able to increase the weight I lift all around and my Crochet stuff has improved vastly…seriously check out some of my recent work here: YarntoAfghanCreations.

Can I go home and hide now?

So here we are, roughly 21-Days until Unemployment begins.

Motivation is seriously waning…I have no desire to actually do my job…and the very idea of training my replacement next week is making me sick.

I’d rather be at home working on any one of the numerous crochet projects I have going on right now than sitting here counting down the minutes until I am unemployed.

It doesn’t help that my co-workers are treating me like some Plague infested Pariah…they won’t talk to me, make eye contact, or even acknowledge I am here unless we cross paths in the hallway…I send them emails and they are ignored…I try to ask questions and I get no response…talk about un-professional.

Can I just duck behind a wall and hide?

Right now I’ve applied to roughly 1-2 jobs a day, I am being very picky about what kinds of jobs I am applying for, finding most of the jobs with either the State or County…you know those jobs you apply for and they go into a database and you never really hear from anyone, yet somehow people get hired…yeah those jobs…not sure who I have to screw or know to get a job in this town, but it’s going to be a very long road to re-employment.

Emotionally I am all over the map, I get excited about going home at night, getting my coffee on board, getting dinner and either parking my butt in my chair with a crochet project or heading to the gym…sad right? Once upon a time I actually liked my job and would be happy to come to work…not anymore, oh gee I wonder why!

Anyhew, that’s where I am with that…my Etsy shop is not overly busy, but I am getting continuous orders through Facebook from friends and family, right now I am working on a baby blanket/hat/surprise for a friend’s upcoming grand baby, and then another friend has ordered two stuffed animals, an Elephant and a Panda Bear.  All the while I have been working on a Crochet-A-Long of Christmas squares with the girls in the Repeat-Crafter-Me Facebook Group.

So If You want to Get Your Own Crochet Creation, Come See me at my Shop! Get ahead of the Christmas Crowds!

Yarn to Afghan Creations (1)

So my boss calls me into her office for an update meeting this morning….I knew, somehow I just knew…yup they’ve hired someone.  Well THAT was quick…

My replacement starts 9/14

She’ll be in the Tampa office for that week getting indoctrinated to the company

Then she’ll be here in Wilmington the week of the 21st so I can train her

My last day is 10/2

Oh gee Thanks…

They’ve offered me a $1,000 retention bonus to stay on and train her on top of my severance package…

Can I just puke now?

I came into work in a decent mood and that just tossed out like the garbage I’m being treated like…

Hubby said “well at least you have a date now and the money will help” yeah but it doesn’t un-sour my mood…a raging headache has settled in and I just want to tell the company to go F*ck themselves I’m outta here…ugh but we need the money.

He also said that this might be a good thing because I’ve been miserable at my job for a long time – and he’s right I do hate my job and the company is less than stellar as far as I’m concerned, BUT we need the money, especially with him being unemployed…

So I am thinking we’re probably MD bound permanently after the holidays…we’ll see…I hate that idea I really do, while I love my family and l do enjoy visiting with them, the very idea of returning to MD just makes my skin crawl…ugh…

Not sure what we’re going to do quite yet…Hubby’s a bit more optimistic than I am…

Ok I’m gonna go crawl under a rock now and puke!