Archive for August, 2015

Good Thursday Morning Followers –

I am writing today from a somewhat dark place in my mind – one reason why I shouldn’t go unmedicated – I am tired, emotionally drained and just ready for the next phase in my journey…disenchantment has set-in at work and I really just don’t want to be here anymore…I really want to tell my company to bugger off and I’ll see them on the flip side, good luck with my replacement I’m outta here…but alas I cannot burn this bridge.  It’s a double-edged sword I cannot pretend to want to get stuck on…I can’t pretend everything is ok and that each day is ok…I can’t look at everyone around me knowing that in a month-two months-whatever they’ll still have their jobs and I’ll be screwed.

What I can’t wrap my head around is the why?

– Why are they changing my job over to another department?

– Why now?

– Why not last year before offering me my benefits?

– And why must it be in Florida?

My husband has said he kind of saw this coming when the Corporate types started pestering me, questioning everything I was doing, and auditing every little step and key stroke I made…I guess to a certain extent he’s right, I did too, but was in denial hoping I was wrong…

Five Years!

FIVE GODDAMN YEARS! I’ve given this company while they kept me at arms length as a temp…I stuck by, giving them my all, 120% for the first portion of my time here hoping beyond hope I’d be hired on as a permanent employee.  That went out the window some time ago and I just gave them my 40 hours a week and no more because I knew it was fruitless.  My boss is spineless, she doesn’t stand up for her employees, she doesn’t fight for us, she allows the contracting company to dictate everything.

Yesterday I told my Finance contacts what’s going on – one of them said it sucks, and that he’s sad I’m being forced out because I know them, know how they work, and have been able to build a good working relationship with them.  To see it tossed out on a whim is just angering them all…I feel more valued by the contracting company than I do my own employer.  How sad is that?!?!?

So then I have had many ask me why I don’t re-apply for the job and move?

Simple – I NO LONGER TRUST MY COMPANY, that and I don’t want to move to Florida…I’ve never been to Tampa, I’ve never so much as set foot inside the corporate offices (again being kept @ arm’s length meant I wasn’t worthy enough of any training or opportunities to go to the Corporate office)…my kids are settled here, their schools and friends are here, our Girl Scout troop is here, my co-leaders and the girls rely on me, I can’t just walk away.

So that’s where I am – I’m being pickier about the applications I put in, I’m NOT willing to take a pay cut just to get another job…I know what I’m worth and God Dammit I’m not taking any less than that!

So I was all geared up to go to work this morning, get to Brigades to drop off our son to find out they are closed today & tomorrow for pre-school start prep cleaning & training…so text my boss tell her that I need to stay home because hubby had two interviews today…she took that well..

So the day is going along just fine until she sends me a meeting request for a conference call at 4, I call in and the Regional HR Director is on the phone, now  you know that’s never good – yeah turns out they are moving my position to our Tampa, FL location.  IF, and that’s a huge IF I want to I can re-apply for the job and maybe move to Tampa…yeah I don’t see that happening.  I was also informed that there’s no true timeline right now – they have to post the position, interview and hire someone, so they don’t know when this will happen…THAT doesn’t sit well with me as I do NOT do well with unknowns.  They told me that I’ll get a severance package of 6-Weeks pay + 3 Months COBRA insurance (which we won’t take the insurance its always way pricier than reasonable) BUT BUT BUT they want me to help with the transition and train my replacement…um WHAT??!?  Ugh…so many emotions right now…

My biggest thing right now is Anger, I am just pissed

Second to that is Worry, I am thoroughly concerned how we’re going to get through each day and what’s going to happen financially

Third is resentment, my co-workers in our office will retain their positions – none of them truly are struggling financially – and yet we’re floating on financial fumes…

I really don’t want to move to Tampa – I know the job market is much better than Wilmington – but the very idea of living in Florida does nothing for me (sorry to those who live there)…ugh…and if we do end up leaving Wilmington we’ll end up back in Maryland and THAT truly does nothing for me…ugh

I am not sure what’s going to happen now…still trying to figure it all out

On the upswing my husband did get Unemployment Benefits – he’s yet to tell me how much per week he’s getting – so with that and our minimal Food Stamps we’re ok…just ok…

So that’s where we are right now…

Good Morning Friends!

Happy Thursday! Hope Everyone’s had a good couple of weeks since my last update.

Right now here’s where we are

Hubby is still unemployed and searching – he had one “interview/information session” with a place on Monday that wanted him to pay something like $1,500 to get licensing and certifications…um yeah not gonna happen.  He’s done a handful of those personality type assessments (which BTW he’s really getting tired of doing) and still natch.  He spends close to 6 hours a day searching for work – I’ve had to impress strongly on him the need to take breaks and find some balance within his job search – he’d cut pretty much all of us out and was so focused on that he couldn’t see the forest for the trees, was truly frustrating.

Anyhew, we were planning to go camping with our Girl Scout troop this weekend, but couldn’t justify the cost of a tent, two new sleeping bags + pads and mess kits, so it was decided I’d go alone with our daughter borrowing a tent from our troop leader…we already have the sleeping bags/mess kits from previous trips.  So tomorrow we leave for a weekend of fun in the sun at Yogi Bear’s Jellystone Park in Tabor City – roughly 90ish mins. from our home in Wilmington – the troop is paying for the trip, I just had to give a $20 food contribution.

Food stamp card

The only real changes since my last update are that we were finally approved for Food Stamps – to the tune of $228/month – what they expect us to be able to buy with that is just astounding…ugh…that’s literally $57/week…our normal grocery budget is $150 – $200/week…so this should be real interesting.

Unemployment did finally get back to my Hubby and told him he should have a decision letter by the end of the week…haven’t seen on yet, so maybe today or tomorrow’s mail.

Yarn to Afghan Creations (1)

Though I did also get my 1st Order from my Etsy shop!  YEAH!!! Though it was a family member she did order and afghan and a scarf/hat set sold for a total of $142.00 including shipping! Working my way through completing that order along with two other orders, one for a Monster High hat & arm warmer set, sold for cost of supplies, and a Minecraft themed hat/scarf set, sold for $35.00, profit on my end will be $30.00 – got the hats of both of those completed, check them out

Enderman Minecraft Hat 2 Monster High Hat Black 2

Aren’t they cool?!?!? I am looking forward to getting the rest of the orders completed.  So that’s where I’m at right now…still trying to figure out the profit/loss + shipping stuff for the Etsy shop, not 100% on the balances there.

Check out the Blog too Yarn to Afghan Creations

Hope everyone’s having a Good Week…we’re getting there slowly but surely!